how cruel
for arms to miss
that which
they never had

dont need anybody who doesnt need you

sunspots

urgency diluted
an afternoon sun
that was too bright
and shone for too long
to suit our needs

Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won’t know for twenty years. And you’ll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it’s what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a text or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn’t really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved.

Vagabond

I have been cursed with
vagabond eyes that never cease
in their immortal hunt to
satisfy insatiable curiosity,
eyes whose eternal
adversary is sleep.
Oh I have been cursed,
with a mind that runs too deep.
The enigmas sunken at the very
bottom have begun to slowly seep,
lately they have been drowning my dreams.
Soon my consciousness will spill and fill
the oceans and then I’ll have not a secret left to keep.
I will have divulged every morsel within me.
I have been star-crossed since the dawn of eternity.
I have been cursed with calves
that make unrealistic leaps.
Obsessed with excelling, I often
cannot keep up with my own two feet.
But under many moons, I have
learned how to kill time on the streets.
Did you know the sound of rain against
asphalt makes the loveliest of beats?
I have mastered dancing on stumps as
I wait calmly for the return of my feet.
I have learned that patience will always
bring me back to where I should be.
Though I am damned, I always
know exactly where my thoughts meet.

"Lost in My Mind" by The Head And The Heart

"Put your dreams away for now
I won't see you for some time
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Momma once told me
You're already home
where you feel loved
I am lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind

Oh my brother,
Your wisdom is older than me
Oh my brother,
Don't you worry 'bout me

Don't you worry
Don't you worry,
don't worry about me"

so much for anti depressants and birth control