months later and

you still owe me an apology.


who are you?
or rather, who do you think you are?
you sold me a completely different image.

The Other Side of Hope

I've often heard it said
that hope can set you free.
Should hope be well founded,
that’s something I can see.
But just as hope might save,
its loss might strike a blow...
especially for one
unused to its warm glow.
While constant, bitter pain
drones on without refrain,
the senses become dull,
and it can be contained—
So one bereft of hope,
though wretched, thus survives.
Departure from that norm
is where the danger lies...
Once hope shines within
a lonely, tortured soul,
its abrupt withdrawal
may take a deadly toll;
For hope leads one to feel
exposed to the divine;
if, then, hope is destroyed,
despair shall dine sublime.

where is this empty field
where no house stands for miles
only sparsely plotted trees
and forgotten furrows plead.
where is this open space
where echoes cannot live
the sun bears down on her ground
but the evening is bejeweled
I would like to stay there for a day
I would like to sleep there for a night
In delight, I shall shout
every name, of every person, of every kind
that my heart bled against
the reminders of an unguided mind
I will shout their names
shout what I screamed on paper
shout until my voice is gone
write until I run out of paper
and I shall sit on the thousands
blades of grass which will serve as my bed
and in the stillness and in the quiet
I will still shout inside my head.

outside these four walls
the world
awaits discovery
the world in black and white
needing you to write it 
back into beautiful
back into color

shivers

cold is still in the air and
seeping into me
fogging up the window and
frosting every tree
wrap yourself around me
warm with body heat
take me to your bed
skin to skin on sheets

relying (on myself)

a shoulder to cry on
should also be
a shoulder to lie on
a shoulder to hold
and to kiss
a shoulder you would dearly miss
if it ever left- if suddenly
it wasn't your pillow
when you slept
or your strength
when you needed rest
a shoulder isn't just a shoulder
anymore
it is maybe the most precious thing
i ever asked you for