You

It slowly became more apparent to me. The nervousness, the tightness in chest. The glee, the anticipation. Gradually, it turned into pacing the room at the mention of your name. Its obvious that you're different. I realize that now and it scares me. You're like a drug to me. The things I would do for you. The withdrawals I go through. I long for you. I smell your scent on me the rest of the day. It's not the reputation you uphold that makes my palms sweaty- I think that exceeds you by far, anyway. The thing is that you get to me. More so, and in a different way, than everyone else. Physically and emotionally; thoroughly, all the way to my core. You make me hurt in an exquisite way. Everything inside me melts and I feel alive, happy and alive. The way you talk, the sports you play, the watch you wear, the car you drive, the friends you have, the stories you tell, the compliments you give, the way you look at me when I lay with you... the sensory overload is too much and entirely overwhelming.

You scare me. This feeling scares me. Nothing will ever happen. You're too good for me and I know that, everyone knows that. I've always had a crush on you- a "dig", as you like to say. But it's all so tangible now. Remarkably and painstakingly close; you're within my grasp. Real. I can reach out, and touch you, and there you are.

You just called me. I was sleeping and you woke me up. Something about your voice is so soothing... every part of my body relaxes. You ask if you can see me this weekend, you'll be in town. Time after time, you continue to assuage me of my fears. The grin on my face, if you only knew. I think you do know now. You're friends must have told you we talked about you this weekend. I wish I could tell you it was something stupid that slipped when I was drunk, but that would be a lie. It was strategic almost, I went into the night hoping that you would get brought up. I wanted to know your feelings about it.

I always want to talk about you. I want everyone to know the way I feel about you. I want everyone to know about you. I want you to know about you. And it hurts so bad because I am confident in the fact that that will never happen. But I feel almost fortunate for the pain associated with that realization. I would never feel anything that bad without having felt something so good. I've never wanted anything so badly in my life. Like I said, you make me feel alive.