Mature secrets? Or secret maturity?

There is nothing
That I would love more
Than to piss you off,
Settle the score.
In fact, it's what
I'd typically do:
Say mean things,
Throw words at you.
But now, I'm proud
because for the time
I've placed someone eles's
Feelings ahead of mine.
Not so fast, don't let
That (also) go to your head,
Don't misinterpret
What you read.
No, you,
You I would rather see cry,
But your friend whose involved-
He could possibly die.