scar tissue and callus

Have you ever been hurt and the place tries to heal a bit, and you just pull the scar off of it over and over again?...


I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. The impact hit me harder than The Hulk on steroids. And at that moment I began to feel paranoid that cupid dropped his arrows, picked up a gun, and pulled the trigger.
It's over. It's been over. And that's the way it's going to remain forever. And that's a promise. And unlike you... I don't break them.

Love is horrible. It makes you incredibly vulnerable. It opens up your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that somone can get inside you. You build up all these defenses, a suit of armor even, so that nothing can hurt you... Then one stupid person, no different than any other stupid person, wanders into your life.. You give them a piece of you, which they didn't ask for. They just did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and all of a sudden your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the dark. So simple a look of ignorance feels like a glass splinter working its way through your heart. Its awful. It hurts. Not only emotionally, but rather the real rip-you-apart type pain.

Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so. When you start to abandon your old beliefs or values, you may be stuck at a threshold. Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs. Time, for me at least, is starting to heal things. As of now I know this.. Your opinions of me were wrong - I am not that bad. My opinions of you were wrong, too - you weren't all that great. In conclusion, when it comes to the affairs of love and hurt, you have to wait for your heart to learn what your head already knows, then you can free yourself.

Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.