I was unsure of how those tears came in the shower, in solitude. I said goodbye what seems like ages ago. And then I realized it was only when you truly let go to that I knew hello was never coming from you again… I've finally become genuinely and sincerely thankful for that.
I became afraid of love. I thought it would take so much time to overcome, like a fine wine aging in the cellar. My biggest fear was never loving anyone again the way I loved you. I was wrong, it's so completely possible!
"Kaelee, come outside, I need to give you something." I went outside, in my glasses and pajamas. He then took my face in his hands, gently but with raging passion, and kissed me. His kiss came as a suprise, something remarkable, something sensational. The kind of kiss ... the one you lose yourself in. I realized that I don't want to kiss anyone else but him and my heart was beating three times its normal pace; the world around me disappeared except me and him. It reduced my bones to rubber and my brain to gruel. It was an exciting kind of sensation that you can't help but fall in love with. I felt reborn. I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquistite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweat anguish, all the secrets that slept deep within me came awake. Everything was transformed and enchanted, everything made sense.
When I saw him for the first time, amid the gloom and travail of existence suddenly to behold a beautiful being... instantaneously I felt an overwhelming conviction that I'm smitten. Sparks flew from first glances; I'm embracing it, letting it glow. What I find, I won't mind, I already want him as mine. He showed me happiness in a time I found it impossible, leaving me speachless yet full of laughter and the same time. Unfathomable radiancy... as the days grow so does my crimson heart for him. This feeling is so overpowering, I'm afraid it will disappear. For all the words I know, there are profound ones I cannot utter without thinking of him. Does he get nervous like I do? Do I spread a smile across his handsome face like he does to me? I have found butterflies again, like I've never known before. I find myself waiting for him, in desperation and in hope. I just want to hold him, and to make him proud of me. The feeling of disappointing him makes me cringe. He has told me he cares, but it's hard for me to grasp. It doesn't make sense to me, that's why I trust it. Why is everything going so right? This can't be correct. I don't want to be under someone's spell again; the last time I was burned so badly. But it's far better to give your all and smother than to withhold hopes of a new relationship. I'm so happy for myself for the willingness to take a chance. There seems to be a rosey hue casted over everything now. I want to thank him for stepping into my world, he brought light.
The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt, and don't forget the amount of frogs you have to kiss before you find your prince!
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